Can I be Tiffany and a Mother?

I would think what I'm experiencing is postpartum depression. Except my son is almost 1 year old. It's all hitting me now. I should be so happy and full of joy. More complete as my family grows. But I find myself frustrated that I've lost myself. See, I'm a selfish person. At least that's the conclusion I've come to. I'm madly in love with my son. But it seems he's all I exist for anymore. He runs my schedule day in and day out. I enjoy, no, survive, off of peace and quite. See I don't even know what I'm saying. I find myself feeling empty and hungry when I'm full of chaos and have no appetite. I would never trade what I have for anything. But at the same time I want to press the reset button. It feels like I missed something along the way. Could it be my unrealistic dreams of acting? Maybe. Could it be my beautiful body that I gave up to create life? Perhaps. Could it be that I only ever really dated Lito since I was 16. Could be. But I truly cannot pin point anything. I just sit and feel empty these days. I care more than I can explain, but my body screams that I don't care. Sleep is a joke. But I've not had a good nights rest since I've been 16. I've fallen so deeply into this hole that some days I can't even see the light. Blah! What's happening to me. I didn't feel anywhere near this in Joplin. Pressure. So much pressure. I'm am Mom. No wonder kids don't call their parents by their first names. Because they are only Mom now. My spirit will not settle for this. It burns for freedom. I refuse to be caged within this title. Just a sucky time for me. I'll get over it. I'm a survivor, not a quitter. Plus, I've got God on my side. If only I could find the strength to seek Him.