Imma Tupid

So now that I'm trying to grow closer to my God, I've naturally started to question some things. I'm self-evaluating, you can say. In a verse I put in my last post it says to 'test everything' (1 Thessalonians 5:21). This is what I began to do. First on the list turned out to be my faith. Uh-oh. Truth is, I've been leaning on faith alone. I've been satisfied with this from the beginning of my relationship. After all, faith is praised in the Bible. There's nothing wrong with faith. In fact, I might add that I believe 'faith' is the hardest part to truly grasp in our form. We base reality on things we can touch, see, taste, smell and hear. Those things are real. Everything else is faith. Faith is what frustrates the intelligent. Christians have been accused of stupidity, using this 'invisible God' as a crutch to get through the troubles of this world. Because we don't have the courage to accept that in the end there is nothing. We go back into the earth. The end. Depressing as this idea is, this is the logical conclusion of death in this sensual world. I've nothing against this view, since it makes sense. But I don't believe that our bodies are all that exist. Perhaps I'm 'stupid' enough to believe that there is such thing as the human spirit or soul. Anyhow, my point is, I do believe in faith. There's more to this world than narcissism.

But I'm now testing, and I don't have the knowledge to back my faith. I've simply accepted God as truth. I do feel Him. He moves me. He's transformed me. I know in my heart that God is real. But so does every other religion. Yet we claim that our God is the true God. Why? Why our God?

I have decent knowledge of the Bible. (Not nearly enough to devote my life to it...but enough). That's not what this is about though. It's not about how well I know the Bible. For me there is a step that comes before even that. The validity of the Bible. Because let's be honest here. I could pick up this book at Barnes and Noble that I really want called "Vampires: From Dracula to Twilight: The Complete Guide to Vampire Mythology" By Charlotte Montague

and read it from cover to cover. I'm very passionate about Vampires. Well here is the COMPLETE Guide to them! Sure there are other books about vampires, but this one....this is it. So I've read it from cover to cover and know everything about them. Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they're real. And I want to be one! So I will devote my life to the teachings of the Complete Vampire Guide to achieve my goal.

You see what I'm getting at?

Now, obviously it's easier to dispute the validity of a vampire book. But how is it any different if we just accept the Bible as God's divine word? This is my take on it anyhow. So when I say I'm setting out to test my faith, I'm actually setting out to test the book that my entire spirituality is based on.

I still consider myself a Christian, so for those fellow Christians who are reading this running around shouting, "The Pastor's Wife is a HEATHEN!" calm down. Make no mistake, I am doing this because I am madly in love with my God and want to rally for him to those who are grounded in the reality of this world. If you love your God, as I do, then I might suggest you join me in this search. Take responsibility as a Christian and offer substance to our hungry world. We can continue to love and serve others in the name of our God. This is of the utmost importance and WILL be noticed. So don't freak out thinking you have no credibility if you can't explain the accounts in the bible as having historical accuracy. Love trumps education any day. Ask any person on their death bed which they preferred during life. But we are also commissioned by our savior to "...go and make disciples of all nations..."(Matthew 28:19). Our own nation doubts because they won't even except the legitimacy of the Bible. Well I'm going to make disciples out of them. Faith is enough for me. But if it's not enough for them, I believe God will provide the evidence needed to reveal himself through their intelligence. In the end I do believe my research will prove that science and God will support each other. I have to.

This is for me as well though. I have my doubts. And it's okay to doubt. Doubt will motivate us to test our faith. And if we seek him, how much more satisfying will our worship be? Let's take responsibility for our faith in this world. Christians are not stupid. But don't be guilty of complacent sleeping through your 'faith'. Know what you believe and why. This is not only reasonable, but commanded by God.

"¹⁵But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,..." (1 Peter 3:15)

Image from artist http://elsita.typepad.com/

Christ the Wisdom and Power of God

¹⁸For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.¹⁹For it is written:
"I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

²⁰Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? ²¹For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.²²Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, ²³but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles,²⁴but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. ²⁵For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

²⁶Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.²⁷But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

YIKES! But it's in there. Not sure how I feel about this. This is the kind of thing that would frustrate an intelligent non-God believing (non-Christian) person. Perhaps it's faith that takes precedence over knowledge in the eyes of God? I just don't know. And thus my journey begins. Anyone have any suggestions on books I could read to help my search?

OKAY I HAVE TO SAY:

While I was writing this blog I have my headphones in my ears listening to Pandora Radio. The station I was listening to was my Teddy Geiger Station. Not a huge fan of Christian music. It's nothing against the lyrics, it just often doesn't have the sound I like to listen to. ANYHOW, point is, the music stopped (as it does when you don't interact for a long period of time). I clicked over on it's tab and it asked if I was still there. So I pressed the 'I'm Listening' button and the song that came on happened to be a Christian song. :) Wait, it gets better...It's a song by a band called Tenth Avenue North. The song is called "By Your Side" Here are the lyrics. Go listen to the song if you have a moment.

By Your Side Lyrics

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)

Listen Here: http://s0.ilike.com/play#Tenth+Avenue+North:By+Your+Side:42464442:s26373233.8166486.7358669.0.1.66%2Cstd_89f3313f91bb06f9e05688a5710ea536

I love when God talks to me. I really am in love with Him. For those of you who are prone to prayer, please pray for me to stay grounded and focused on what matters during my search. For God, my faith and action in love in His name, are enough. I don't need the 'education' in full. I trust him even if it comes off as insane and illogical to others. There it is. My God is bigger than any wisdom I could collect. He reveals Himself to me everyday in ways this world cannot contain in it's intellectual capacity. He's bigger than we can ever comprehend. But I will still seek for Him in every way that I can. I know he loves all of His children, whether they acknowledge him or not. So I will use intellect to bring my bothers and sisters to Him if that is how they can be saved.