Freewrite- Oblivion

She curled into herself in bed against the wall. Rain pattered down on the leaves outside her window. Numb. She was numb. She had gone nearly 27 years of her life with certainty of what life would be like. But now….now everything was different, and she wasn’t even sure why. One day she was Mrs. Smith. Proud mother of an adorable little boy and side-kick wife to a well known and loved man. So why would her perspective change now? In the middle of her happily ever after. Of course she knew she never really had happily ever after. She had security. She had convenience. To the outside world everything looked worthy of envy. High School Sweethearts growing together into adulthood. A healthy five years dating before a proposal. It was all just safe in retrospect. Safe. She’d been mindlessly riding her bike with training wheels. Never knowing the feel of the wind assaulting her face as she sped carelessly down a hill. Never risking a fall and a scrape. She wore her helmet and all the pads and stayed on the sidewalk. 27 years she did everything right. Safe. The word tasted bitter in her mind. What a waste. She felt repulsed by her lack of life initiation. When had she ever truly gone after something that she wanted. Something that would spark a fire in her? Never. She lived to compliment the lives of others until she slowly let go of herself and disappeared into suburban oblivion. A tear slipped from her cheek to the pillowcase. She had a perfect life, but she wasn’t fully there to enjoy it. Her heart was somewhere else. One life. The pain. A prisoner in her own skin. How could she have done this to herself? She felt like a coward. There’s still time. Time to take back who she really is. But the question is; will she stand up and move, or cower and continue to die inside. Is it selfish to be happy? Probably. Does she care what the majority think? Of course. Will it matter in the end? Only time will tell.