Rapture

Overcome with the unseen strength of the ever present emotion. It hurts to be human. I can tell the flesh isn't a permanent state of being. I can feel what is called my soul vibrating constantly beneath the skin. You could never see it, but I can always feel it. There has always been a fire within me. But I am that fire. And it roars and aches to stretch the fingers of its flame outside this pathetic piece of flesh. My spirit is strong and vicious. I have a hard time living in this skin. There's not enough room. Bigger. My soul is bigger than my body. Everyday I churn and grow and shrink. I moan in desperation hoping for satisfaction. Is this just me? Am I experiencing some form of insanity, or am I blessed with true sight of this reality? The body can be beautiful, but I do believe it is the eyes that reflect the spirit to others. I grow impatient with the superficial deafness of the majority. I see more than I can see with my eyes. But I show more than I can express with them as well. Words are junior varsity compared to body language. But then body language pales in comparison to the language of your soul. Life on earth is a mere play date. We've yet to grow up and step out of the playground to experience full adulthood. I believe death will usher us closer to our true state. I fear death. I question my faith. I have hope in Christ, but I have fear of nothingness. I suppose it would be better to stop existing, than to be delivered into and unknown eternity of fire. But to be delivered into an unknown eternity of bliss in my true skin with the true God....I am merely left hoping. Fate. Destiny. Hm. I believe in the choices we make. There is no ultimate right. But sometimes, my heart, or whatever part of me that has the intuition of spirit, can feel a draw. I feel pulled in certain directions. It's strong, sometimes overwhelming and utterly gripping of my human. I crave what I cannot have. I don't believe in conceived happiness. I don't believe in eventual satisfaction. I believe in my churning. I believe it is human and inhuman to suffer and toil. We are physical beings, but only as a joke. We are so much more than that, and some people can see this. Others are "plugged into the Matrix" if you will. Powerful what lives inside me. What is me. And it's drawn to like. Crazy, huh? But it makes sense to me, and I think I'll choose to live in this insanity. To relish in my pain and sit quietly and observe in peace. To be Human. To be living. To be overcome with emotion. To be, in rapture.