Broken, But Out of the Box

It hurts. I want to be numb, but am forced to feel. I must feel the pain to move toward healing. But it hurts. There's no medication beside denial. Broken. I'm broken. Sometimes I just don't understand. Sometimes I believe I was meant for self destruction. Like nothing was really supposed to work out in my life. I was created to toil and suffer. I'd almost rather suffer physically than emotionally. Fine then. Tear me apart. I may be broken but I am not done. I will take everything thrown at me and conquer it. I am fierce and I am strong. Even when I'm weak, the warrior inside of me roars in it's determination for perseverance. You will not own me. I'm not certain of tomorrow, or of anything for that matter. But I'm breathing. And that's all I need to keep moving. I will meet the challenges life extends. I may not be touched by God as Lito and others are so obviously. Fine. That's fine too. I don't need to be special. I don't need to be satisfied. I find glory in my flaws. It's okay to be human and to hurt. My wounds are simply battle scars. It means I'm tougher than you. I won't quit. I will smile in the face of crisis, knowing I'll come out the other side a richer soul. I don't need the silver platter offers. I don't need the stroke of an ego. I survive regardless. I survive in spite of the attacks. I don't care for the thoughts of others. If I'm crazy, I accept it. Because I know who I am and I like my crazy. It makes me more colorful, more passionate, more able to feel the depths of this world. To meditate on these things could bring you into the arms of insanity. Life is more than our petty brains can consume. For whatever reason, my brain tries. It tries past the point of frustration and confusion. It just keeps going. Routine is survival. But it may also be the death of life's originality. Take your meds and move toward a general normalcy. No. I like who I am. I will not be put in a box and told it's all there is. Life is more and I see that. So back off you close minded arrogant mannequins. Your boundaries and limits are not my own.